Why Feedback Often Feels Uncomfortable
Experts like Susanne Breuer say that feeling a little uneasy in a development meeting is normal – and for a simple reason: “Most of us were never taught from the ground up to deal with feedback in a positive way, so any kind of input often triggers a bit of stress.” This is also due to the uncertainty involved: What will my manager want from me now? "Feedback often hits a blind spot," says Breuer. “Because managers often don’t see everything that really defines an employee.”
The Right Mindset
“Both sides should see feedback as a gift,” Breuer explains. Why? Quite simply, it usually contains valuable opportunities for development. The recipient doesn’t have to unwrap it straight away. The key point is that accepting the gift is a process, not an obligation. Anyone providing feedback should also allow the recipient time to process it.
The Right Wording
The most important basic rule for a good, appreciative conversation is this: don’t interpret your colleague’s behaviour directly. Instead, start by speaking only about what you have observed yourself. Rather than saying, 'Your mind is elsewhere,' it is better to say, 'I’ve noticed you speak less in meetings.' Any interpretation should also be clearly marked as such, for example: 'My impression is that you don't have a clear head at the moment.' Ideally, link this to an opening for dialogue: 'I'm a bit at a loss – should I be worried?'
How Do I Prepare for a Feedback Conversation?
“Good preparation is very important,” stresses Breuer. “It helps you go into the conversation with a clear mindset and steer things back on track if they start heading in the wrong direction.” Preparation includes answering these three questions:
- What exactly do I want to feedback in this conversation? What is the most important point?
- Which time, room and setting will I choose deliberately? Giving feedback in the corridor is not ideal.
- What effect should the feedback have on me and on the other person — and what effect should it not have? For example, the employee should feel more motivated, but not intimidated.
Interview
Why Feedback Boosts Efficiency
Is a feedback culture merely nice to have, or does it bring companies real benefits? Wir.Hier. spoke to conflict coach Susanne Breuer about this.
A Strong Feedback Culture: What Is It Good For?
Breuer: “It raises the level of human maturity within a company. People become much more self-reflective and find it easier to identify areas for improvement. Without this, unconscious incompetence occurs – in other words, individuals and managers are unaware of their own weaknesses. This can result in significant friction.”
What Does That Mean in Practice?
Breuer: “These losses can manifest when managers believe they are doing everything correctly, despite there being room for improvement. Or when people are put into roles that they are unable or unwilling to perform. The result can be anything from inefficiency and low motivation to quiet quitting.”
How Do You Create That Kind of Cultural Change?
Breuer: “Training and workshops are a good place to start. Even more important, though, is for managers to model the new feedback culture themselves so that it becomes the new normal. A cultural shift like this takes time – usually up to a year, or even longer — so patience matters.”
